PersuasiveWriting

 In my class at school we have been learning about using persuasive writing. The writing below is some of the persuasive work we have been doing.

My First Piece Of Writing

Being a Super Hero

Imajine flying to school, maybe walking through walls to get into your class room, or if you forgot some thing you could run home super fast and get it. That could be your life if you were a super hero. There are other things that make being a super hero great. For example, you could rescue people or help people and you could be known world wide and you could have a cool super hero name.  There is always a down side to every thing though. Like if you were flying to school and it started to rain you could fall out of the sky but you could just run but you could slip over, or if you tried to walk through the class room walls and found that you just couldn’t seem to get through and it was raining and the door was locked, or if you ran so fast one day you couldn’t stop running and ran on and on and on! Also if we had super powers there wouldn’t just be heroes but evil villains and we would spend half of our day saving the world which would be cool and we would miss school a bit but there would be more of a chance that we could die!   So from what I know being a super hero would make you popular in a way, but would you really want to be fighting villains all day and being woken up in the middle of the night you get called to protect your country in the fight against evil non stop every day? I mean you would get sick of it wouldn’t you? Maybe being normal is some times good don’t you think? But we can be heroes in our own way because if everyone is a super hero you can’t save them because they can save themselves. So let’s just be thankful that there are no people with super powers and no evil villains who are out to kill us. I think that my writing is good because I had no more than 10% spelling mistakes  Second Piece of writing

My Ski Trip Letter

Dear Mum and Dad   WE WANT YOU!!  To let us go on the ski trip.  WHY?  Because we have worked hard throughout the year and we are up to date with all our work and are responsible. This term room 17 will be planning and going on a ski trip to Mount Ruapehu with Room 2. The trip will be from the 18th of September to the 19th.   To go on the trip we have to be up to date with all our work. I think I am up to date enough with my work so I should be able to go. In class we have charts on the wall and they have a record if we have don e all our home work. Only the people who have too many unfilled boxes will not be going on the trip. So that would mean I will be going. Wahoo!!   This trip may be pricey but I think that this trip would be a great experience to make more friends and to have fun with everyone. It is a great learning experience and we can use some skills that we have been using in class out on the ski field. Some of these will come in handy with our planning because we are also planning the trip for Room 2 as well.

__Woodpeka__

__Goal:__ Next time I will try to link my thoughts together in each paragraph. __Parent Comment:__ Good work, need to read through what has been written to make sure it all makes sence. Keep going!!


 * My Last Piece of Writing

Why school should start at 9 am**

I think that school should start at 9 am for a few reasons. At the moment school starts at 8:40 on Mondays and Fridays and at 8:45 on every other day. If school started at 9, maybe we could have more time to get ready for school. We could also sleep in a little bit longer. Apart from school being only 6 hours long instead of 6 and a quarter hours long I think this could be a way to stop kids from being tired at school. If school started at 9 am we would have more time to get ready for school. As a child I say that I take forever getting ready for school and I need more time. If school started at 9 am I would be up and ready for school and I wouldn’t be late because I didn’t have enough time to get ready. Just think about it. All parents hate waking there kids up because they will be late for school. If school started at 9 am us children would be able to sleep in as usual with out having to hurry because they will be late for school. Children would love this too. They would even get to watch more TV in the mornings if they are lucky. If school started at 9 am we could sleep in and we wouldn’t be tired because of getting up early so we would not be late. I know that teachers hate having grumpy tired students and us children don’t like grumpy teachers as well, because if a student is grumpy, the teacher is grumpy. I think having school start at 9 am would be better for our learning, we would be ready for school, we wont be late for school and well sure wont be grumpy.

__Persuasive Writing Rubric__

·  Spelling || Most commonly used words are spelt correctly || No more than 10% spelling errors and developing breadth in word usage || No more than 5% spelling errors and developing breadth of word usage appropriate to genre || ·  Main Ideas || includes several ideas, some with supporting detail || beginning to support main ideas with increasing detail || consistently includes details to support main ideas || Ideas are linked logically through paragraphs || beginning to vary sentences using conjunctions || varies sentence beginnings and length beginning to vary sentence structures in a variety of ways and may use complex sentences || varies sentence beginnings and sentence length to suit purpose. Sentence structures varied using complex sentences with subordinate clauses. || ·   Repetition || Uses repetition without effect || beginning to use repetition and achieve desired effect || Uses repletion effectively ||
 * || Lvl 2 || Lvl 3 || Lvl 4 ||
 * Surface Features
 * ·  Punctuation || Mostly correct use of full stops, capitals, commas and question marks. Beginning to use question marks ||  Mostly correct use of full stops, capitals, commas, exclamation marks speech marks and question marks  || Accurate use of full stops, capitals, commas, exclamation marks speech marks, question marks, apostrophes, parentheses, ||
 * ·  Vocabulary || || || ||
 * Deeper Features
 * ·  Paragraphing || some sequencing is evident || ideas are beginning to be organised into paragraphs ||  paragraphs are easy to read and have supporting detail for main ideas.
 * ·  Sentence Structure || beginning to vary sentence length and beginnings
 * Specific Language Features
 * ·  Emotion || beginning to use emotive words ||  beginning to use emotive language that appeals to audience  || Uses emotive language effectively to convey desired message to audience ||
 * ·  Structure || attempts to grab audience attention and give an opinion statement ||  Grabs audience attention and attempts to give clear opinion statement  || Grabs audience attention and gives clear opinion statement ||